Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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