Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
