Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
