This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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