Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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