I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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