I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you traded sex for a burrito?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
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