i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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