He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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