Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
