I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
