I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i can't believe i had my finger in that
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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