Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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