i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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