Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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