I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
