Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
