too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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