i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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