Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
