Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
