my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
we should paint friendship bongs
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