I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
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Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
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His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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