You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
