My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
