carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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