I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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