he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just found puke in my bra..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
