she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
