He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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