dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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