we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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