Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
