It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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