i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
