Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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