Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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