You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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