That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
