She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Less talking, more tequila
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I am naked and annoyed.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
