My room smells like vodka and shame
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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