How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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