this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize