I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
3 2 1 whiskey
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
