hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize