That's intense
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
