It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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