Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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