People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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