three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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