But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
