is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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