the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
