saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
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