no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
