also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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