eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
