I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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