new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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