let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize