Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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