You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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